Monday, May 28, 2007
i enjoy being in my office. i enjoy watching airplanes fly by; thinking - where are those ppl heading to? honeymoon? destination of their lifetime? family holidays? going elsewhere to send their grievances? are they sad? exhilirated? anxious?i didnt know how much pain you felt until these past few days. sometimes i just wanna staple my ears to filter some words spoken. and that other you, what in the world have got into you for these past couple of years? what is it exactly would you like to accomplish in life? why aren't you like what you were last time? it kills me to see her sad. and the only few things that has been keeping her accompany is that big black box, my hamsters and the kitchen.
this is part of the reason why i enjoy being in the office so much. sometimes, staying up so late just to get away and i wish i didnt care but i do but you, you just wouldn't listen and refuse to take advices! this is the reason why i would rather much be a workaholic so i dont have to face whatever things i faced before. or so i thought. my social life is depleting but i dont care. my hair is jet black i dont care. i aint that funky elya who was always seen at every scenes anymore i just dont fucking care!!! i just want the both of you to be the best team like you were last time. the portraits taken are so deceiving. i want to kill all those strangers and idiots and imbecile kaninas who somehow managed to brainwash you and turned you into this monster right now. gosh i cant believe i fucking described you as that but yes, for now that is what you are.
WHY CANT THEY JUST SEE US HAPPY?
TELL ME WHY FUCKING WHYYYY??!
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12:51 AM
the meeting just now made me realized what's actually in for me. i almost died after hearing certain things. these 3 coming months are gonna be hell for me. but im still crossing my fingers for that T3 project. and that airline house too. and that's why, i deserve the 5 days 4 nights holiday in bang freaking kok this coming june! woohoooooo. cik marlia, nak ikut? saya tahu awak dah rindu mat2 bangkok kan?
and cik marlia, fyi saya pun PA aka admin aka secretary officer ok. hahaha. tapi takper. saya paham sangat masalah awak tu. certain companies should minus the too many hors and lahs. eh cannot! bkoz they are forever searching for "fluent in mandarin speaking" perrr. no wonder lorr. all these chinchongwaliwali. kadang2 mereka yang ingat saya ni lembap. jokers kan mereka tu semua! ah!
and unfortunately, liverpool didnt get to kiss that hot trophy. but nevermind. they'll never walk alone! and yesh, boo manYOO. lalalatamplong! and ok nak swipe2 in milan? hmmm...kena mintak approval form dulu dari bf. approval for using his hot black swiping card. then while in milan, we could try to get the players to kiss our pretty arses perhaps? hmmmm...hahahahahaaaa!
bf is now dancing with so many hotties in i dunno what that new club is called which replaced momo. luckily he messaged me. so many hotties = fadhil grinding bf while bf is super sober and is seeing 10 fadhils at a time. ouh boys! bad boys!
dian! mengucap! jangan kanciong ok!
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10:53 PM
im tired. but not jaded.
im still breathing thank God.
and im sorry for being so forgetful at an early age.
im sorry i forgot to tell you that single fact which existed last saturday.
im sorry for not reminding you.
im sorry for not confirming it with you.
you might think im over-reacting over small things like this when u said you're ok.
but just so you know......
je suis desolee. beacoup.
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10:50 PM
sama izzit? nyehhhhhh
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10:57 PM
here.
i hope this helps. i trust you to make a final decision right now. you have always helped me making loads of dumb uneccessary decisions like what to wear, who to date, which to buy and so on so forth without you being much of a fickle. ive always trusted your judgements; hence here i am today.
Time for self-reflection
People usually go about making a career change the wrong way, says Andrea Kay, a Cincinnati-based career counselor and author of "Life's a Bitch and Then You Change Careers."
"They say, 'what's out there?'" Kay said. "Wrong question. The question is, 'What's in me? What are my most joyful skills? What do I know about? What do I want to know about it?" she said.
Your imagination will come in handy, she said. "Your fears are going to get in your way," Kay said. "If you cannot have a clear picture and imagine what it is you see yourself doing, it's going to be hard to convince others that it is doable."
Please be reminded that i love you.
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2:00 PM
after months of preparations, the event is indeed a successful one. i love.
despite the choppy waters, i dare to say the whole of Elyo was having a rolling good time. there were the 112 lucky draw prizes to be won. aww shucks. my manager's the one who went home with the home theatre system. i think im gonna bribe him lah.
i walked away with $30 NTUC voucher, munchy's hazelnut wafer cubes and 2 door gifts! one of which i gave to my ahbwee for being a sweetie pie everyday. i gave him the hot neon orange time capsule thingy, the one with alarm clock and month, date and day displaying on it.
and i thought that's it. my day ended with my NTUC voucher. with nothing else to put my wishing hope in.
but my ahbwee got me a HOT PINK PSP lahhh!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!! tak payah tunggu gaji. dah dapat pun. heeeee....thanks honeybwee!!! i promise to take care of it just like how im taking care of our black bear hammies. i love i love i love. thank you for acknowledging the madness i went thru this past month. and i know just how much we adore each other. awwwww....thanks honeybwee!
ok. now i want to play my sims 2 on my hot PINK PSP already. later im going for a quickie to the mall to look for my memory stick and PSP pouch and it's screen cover. my PSP vagina has just been popped.
eeee so crude.
but that's hot.
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1:16 PM
the preparations are what been holding me up.
2 monthly reports are what been heating me up.
and some other stuffs have been fuming me up.
and i thought i was hyperventilating just now then i thought to myself stop over-reacting and i only became better after being forced by one of the technician to gulp down coffee. i hate coffee. i don't drink coffee. with mocha in it is an exception. and the day only turned out worse when my darling bf got duty call from chestnut. go eat peanuts! spoilt my day. spoilt our day. we were planning to frighten ourself with that don't look back horror. bleargh.
then i did my mani and pedi. but it just wasnt satisfying enough. it is very hard to please a girl who has been fuming for so long now.
i got fucking pissed just now that i pulled out my office phone wire for almost half a day. aaaaahh...silence is golden. if can i want to throw away my fax machine also.
and babe, kalau nak pakai make-up, especially kalau nak cover up kepimple-an di mukamu, atau kehodohan, sapu sikit concealer atau bedak sampai ke leher. tak vogue siak muka mcm tepung. tapi leher terus 2 tones darker. apa sajer.
and gila, satu kali lagi kau nak try kau punya luck, canteen mentin. i swear im gonna humiliate you infront of your dumb friends. arent rolling eyes enough for you as a hint? plus with the openly whatever look? stop your "come on give it to me baby" smirk. kau disgusting tahu tak?
and pisang, treat ladies with a little more respect can or not? berbual iya-iya. tapi depan bini tahu pun kau mana dunia mana langit.
and hey. sell away your airwave and pay back my money first can. i want to take my fucking degree lah!!! and buy a smacking new laptop. and my pink PSP. and dont clad ur kids with too many branded clothes lah. you, of all people should know that kids grow faster than we can spell out f-a-s-t. so obviously, they are gonna outgrow their clothes rite. ok ok. kirakan nak keep up to the standards lah? who ever set those standards? come on lah. eh ok lah ok lah. go clad them with high brands from top to bottom. just give me back my many grands.
and apa gunanya ada handphone kalau aku call kau tak angkat? jgn divert pat office lah tolong. aku call bila ada benda mustahak ajer. bukan sesuka hati. jadi tolong lah cooperate sikit.
fucking cheebye week.
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1:19 AM
he said i am everything like the lyric.
then i know i am his everything.
and i just checked it out in the office just now; after another long day of multi-taskings and answering to stupid questions. it just made me smile lah. and what coincidence. while i was reading the lyric half-way, that my boo song blasted from my mobile and who else could it be but him?
and im proud of him for not buying ciggies after work. he actually tahan from work ok. and i think that's such a big step for a dragon like him. he said ahbwee i want to go kedai buy ciggies. then i told him no. must save petrol (though the shop is not that far) and save strength and save money.
and we went public last saturday to catch spidey3 with aypah n elfy. he's just so cute when he started to get rimas and mabuk from riding the midnight bus. poor ahbwee. he reminds me of myself. i hate taking 197 to ngeeann last time. stupidest longest ride ever.
i have been fighting with elyo's demons ever since the raise. i feel like i deserve 3 times more now. i got back home from HQ close to midnight last night. and with more tenders closing, that only meant more paper work for me. more paper work, more trees get cut down. im such a recycle paper freak. i get super duper pissed when i find out the guys not using recycle papers for not so necessary stuffs and when they photocopy single sided but not double sided and sometimes treat papers like their parents are the ones who planted the trees. save the earth lah dammit! CONSERVE!!!
i love elyo. i love getting compliments from big shots. but i would love elyo more if they could give me a pink PSP perhaps? im not asking too much kan? HAH!
and him. he always manages to calm me down at the end of the day.
he still offers to fetch me at changi from yishun. obviously, there are always rewards for him waiting.
he still said im the hottest he ever had.
but he also said it would be so much hotter if we could orgy with dita, scarlett, avril and so many more. if they are so desperate, charge them mahal2 ok ahbwee! nothing comes for free!
for me, i'll just stick with milo and miller lah. ni dua ajer dah cukup hot.
tapi my ahbwee is still the hottest.
bwekk!
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11:46 PM
i buried her among my plants and vases, wishing that somehow someday tulips and beautiful flowers will grow at her grave.
it was nice knowing you for 2 weeks. and i hope you do really love the cabbage i fed you.
rest in peace, qishti.
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9:52 PM
have i mentioned bf and i are over 240 days already? cepat kan?
and have i mentioned that we sang this track together in the car, while we were on our way to simpang from sentosa, after our first coffee, after sharing a jug of green tea together? thinking of that first outing with him still gives me all the jingling jingling jinggles shminggles.
and that's hot.
and then i got attracted to his mole. moleeeeeee moleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
ok i want to play the sims now.
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9:00 PM