Tuesday, October 31, 2006
it is funny when i think how i used to put in so much effort for a relationship to work. and then i would find the other being complacent but now i think it is all my fault for being too nice to them. for spoon feeding them so much that they didn't realize they were being such bastards after all. for trying too hard in hoping they would return my love as much as i do. then i would try n try n try again. i never understand how one could give up easily bkoz that is not me. i don't know where this entry is going but it must be my thumping brains that got me typing. and only now. now, at 22. i understand the meaning of......"the one". "the one" could just appear in your life when you least expected it and it's so fucking true. there i was, at rouge, after a couple of weeks of madness and crying foolishly and baking and swimming, there he stood. ok fine. so it was kind of not that accidental for him to notice me but what da heck, it worked. and who knew that exchanging sms in the wee of 0430hrs could lead to this? and now i understand that savage garden song so well. i used to think how could one knew that he already loved her before knowing her? skali, jeng jeng jenggg! it strikes to me. meeting "the one" is better than seeing strangers eating ur home made cookies with much love for ur home made cookies. the satisfaction is at its highest. it is better than the feeling of pride after swimming 15 laps. so much better that it doesn't tire and wear you out at all.
and when he talks, he looks into your eyes. and when he's saying his apologies, you just don't know what to say bkoz he apologises at every silly accidental blurps he did. and you can't stand it when he's sick. and you can't stand it when he's tired. times like that, i wish i have my license so i could tell him to go to sleep and leave the driving to me. i'm so gonna get my license after i finish skool lor.
and so, thank you to all those i dated. those who broke my plastered heart. and those i broke theirs. and them who didn't mean to hurt me at all but situations were being merciless for not giving us a chance to be. i believe that if i didn't cross each one of their journeys, i would not have met my Farid sayang. and bkoz of these experiences in my relationship resume, i know every corner for hiding, every scents of lyings and every frames of loyalty. and bkoz of them too, i know what's best for me and what's best for the trash.
and he told me last night "the past 2 months have been the best 2 months in my life...ever. thank you for appearing in my life, Elya". TGIFU too. and he drove me home last night despite his nose trying to run away from him and his magic fever. love love love!
and so, my bf is sick. and so am i. no running nose. no cough cough. just the norm migraine and fever. i hate migraine attacks. like how much i hate sharks hunter. like how much i loathe animal abusers.
ok wanna go to the visit my doc now. hopefully i'll be lucky enuff to get a 2 days MC too like my bf. and then i'll have time to upload my weekend madness with the girls. weekend madness could only mean me being home after 7 in the morning. yeahhhh that kind of thing. crazy lar! but i miss them. and this kinda madness will only happens once to thrice a year. so don't worry. hahahaha.
ok. love love!
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1:48 PM
and everyday i would get weird myspace friend requests. from hot to ugly lesbos. if she's hot then i would accept her. from weird fcuks to actually hot dudes. hot young dudes whose lifestyle include of weekly zouking and mos-ing and nothing else matters in their life except to edit their self taken pictures poptart style and to post them edited pictures in myspace and the pictures will then fetch comments like stail arrrr....eh happening kan malam tuh? or wow nice one! or u look so yummy! or mentel comments like whatever but you get my point. and their page takes about 3 minutes to load on average bkoz there are too many picture slides thingy and too many extras and that is equal to ter-over. gosh. REJECT REJECT REJECT. and you don't even know me?! besides, i couldn't care less about myspace layouts and shits like that. if you notice my layout, it is still in its original purest whitest layout. i only care about my so-amoy. everytime i log in to myspace, i have this itch to delete my account. and then something more interesting would pop out and the initial thought was immediately distracted away. urgh. whatever.
and remind me to spit, not swallow. :)
and i miss bf so much. and last night's midnite madness with bf manja was fun n gerek n sweet n orgasmic with fries and green tea for me while hot tea for him.
and something weird or somewhat rude happened to bf today. and it made bf boiled up for a minute. i shall not continue further but whatever triggers my bf's boiling point, i feel the same way too. take note - elya will try to stop being a bitch for the rest of 2006. yes yes yes. but don't count the chicks before the eggs are hatched. hahaha.
something for my bf.....
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much
Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.
Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin (1973) "Personal Conduct"
So, my bf, just forgive for whatever that has happened ok? But DON'T forget about it hor. I think it is just a "sour grape" expression or a cheap and simplest way to get back at you for being the way you are now without her. Bottom line, fuck the world bf!!! waaahahahaha.
aku macam nak mamam new york pizza ah. tapi so malas nak jalan. pala aku masih menoneng lagi nih.
and cik Suhaina, of course saya ingat awak! lerrr....u mean we bumped into each other?? lain kali tegur saya lah ok? sebab sekarang saya dah jadi orang tampines tau. ok, selamat hari raya to u too!
and kawan2 sumer, jangan makan kambing terlalu banyak ok. nanti kepala pening!
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6:58 PM
ouh! all those rendang and serunding is making me giddy.
shits.
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2:24 PM
but im itched to say this...
concert at kampung glam on the night of hari raya? baca takbir tidak...jauh lagi mengaji...nak melalak pulak. i think suria is turning into channel8 as years go by.
im just sad dats all.
Selamat Hari Raya kawan2 saya. Maafkan saya kalau saya ni ter-bitchy atau ter-over sengaja dan tidak sengaja. Semoga kawan2 have successful careers dan bahagia selalu dgn keluarga yang tersayang sekali! Dan saya sayang sekali kawan2 saya! Baik jauh atau rapat.
Hope there wll be more rayas with all of you, online or not online.
Muacks.
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6:47 PM
kuih dah bikin.
langsir dah pasang.
sofa dah lap.
cermins dah lap.
yayyy!
and besok kan, kita tolong bf cuci Swifty kat carpark saya. saya macam feeling nak pakai bikini ala carwash tapi nasib baik posa. heeeeeee. i tak segiler gitu ok? and bf's niece donated to one of Swifty's interior. she gave Swifty one of her little devil plush toy. kiut giler!
lagi 3 hari dah nak raya. yok kita count down!
ouh n i forgot something.
could you please stop your nonsense? sms-ing me via starhub online. giving me missed calls from private numbers. you are just wasting your precious fucking time. and your purpose of doing all those again are...? why don't you stop wasting your precious fucking time and spend it fucking instead. or better, go fuck yourself.
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3:37 PM
but not my bf. my bf is equals to sensitive, love, lame, beruk and everything else nice n spice! dats why i heart him. but now my bf has a new baby. her name is Swifty and surprisingly, i'm not jealous or anything like that. in fact, i rela diperduakan dengan Swifty! sebab Swifty best. Swifty boleh bawak kita dua jalan2. tapi Swifty bf i, Swifty negro, jadi dia hitam.
welcome to Farel's world on 111006. We promise to take good care of you. Like we do of each other.
Sedapkan dgr lagu hari raya?
And johor's trip with bf and yanchut yesterday was gerek dot com. Yesterday the four of us karaoke-ed to hari raya songs in bf's car during our johor trip. And i didnt know lebuhraya pasir gudang is my bf's favourite highway. Bkoz he just couldn't resist to drive back to that highway although we were minutes away from angsana. wahahaha. and the new jaya jusco was doped dot com also. doped bkoz have naf naf and all the established commercial brands. which is not that doped lar as compared to angsana. bkoz bf only spent 330RM on this hawt pink couple set of baju kurung. complete with samping and selendang nyah! nyiehhhhhhhh! nasib baik bf i hot enuff for the shades of pink. and bf bought me this kinky ala virgin lingerie from La Senza. ooouuhhhhhhhhhhhh.....and yanyan got herself something kinky oso lah. but cannot tell. u want to know u ask her urself. siap dgn straps. hahaha. and what is johor without ayam percik and dunkin donuts? so yeap. we bought the junkest foods in asia and buka posa at bf's johor house.
Hmph. and now the bf is wiping Swifty clean. when is my turn, bf?
And nari saya nak continue buat kuih! double chunk choc chip, kuih tart and mummy's kuih coming up!
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4:44 PM
this sucks.
im saving up my tears after breaking my fast.
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1:23 PM
It really lights me up inside when you say those things you said.
It gives me a nice chill down my spine when you show me off to your different cliques in your life.
You make me proud of you bkoz you are proud of me too.
You make me wanna rape you bkoz you wanna rape me too.
Likewise to you, you are the best companion.
Likewise to you, you are me and i am you.
Just the different genders and extra parts hanging out of there and there from our bodies.
And so, tomorrow is the day.
I've never been this kan-chiong before but i guess this is how it is when you meet your lifetime.
And i dont wanna be like my best friend who has no clue what her daddy is working as.
No no no hahahaha.
You are my aquaman.
So the ciggies idea was bad.
How about, since you are my aquaman, you are the liquid to keep me stay alive?
Well, not only alive lar.....but yeah, dats my basic point. hehz.
And im 22 this year. And if u divide it by 2, what do you get? 11! yayyy.
And i just have to say this....
I HOPE WHOEVER TIED THE PLASTIC FILLED WITH STONES TO THAT BIRD'S LEFT WING WILL HAVE A LIFETIME OF CONSTIPATION. PLUS A LIFETIME OF INGROWN NAILS. TOO INGROWN THAT NO ONE WILL BE WILLING TO SERVICE YOUR NAILS. AND A LIFETIME OF UNCONTROLLABLE ORGASMS SO PEOPLE SEE YOU AS A FUCKING PSYCHO FREAK. ARSEHOLEEEEE!!!
eeeeehh! betul lah dorang nih! buat dosa ajer tau!
i benci!
but i love farid and my girlies.
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2:45 AM
the movie meant only for men not boys.
boys will go like eee kau kental siak ni farel nak step bunga2.
men will go like ....sob....sob....
now dats my man!
and Farel rocks FaridElya's world.
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9:13 PM
today is just one of my lazy days lar....
eh...where got lazy? i'm doing my research on production management ok.
bkoz later got skool. yayyy!
see. this is one of the many reasons why i love my job. i have mood swings bosses who are kind enuff to me to let me take a day of time off via sms at 0730hrs. i so love elyo. elyaelyoelyaelyo. and another reason is, i always get free milo peng for breakfast. if im lucky enuff, with kaya toast! and i believe being just a secretary is the most powerful job. u get everyone listen to you. even the degil boys. bkoz they have no choice mah. otherwise i'll just refuse to help them with their underpaid OT or under-calculated leave balance. so die die they have to be nice to me. hahaha. gerek siak. but ok lar. dorang yg betulkan air-con aku jugak per.
and my bf is hot n sweet n manja n merepek. since i am the air he breathes, he is my cigarette's smoke. if this year was 2003, he would be my junkie's dope. woohooo. n this guy ar....(so sweet) like he knows like dat i'm writing about him. the bf sayang just called. he just settled some bike matters and is now at yishun dam letting the new rider who is also his friend getting used to the bike before the official handing & taking over in 24hrs time. then i asked him are you gonna miss your bike beebee? then he answered no but i miss you. heeeee. and yes hid, love is definitely in the air, in our cleavage and everywhere. korang mesti menyampah on how i brood and action in my happy entries. tak leh angkat kaper? then dun angkat ar...
and i miss girlie love.
hmph.
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2:27 PM
There! The past 3 weeks have been crazy. But i love!
Sentosa, karaoke and then the next week was karaoke again with the bf's best friend and her sister and then yesterday's breaking fast at Sakura Buffet which was yummy smackinglicious lar! And then to Samar for sheesha with bf and his friends. Talk cock sing song. And did you know there was a midnight sale at Suntec last night? Like totally! Stupid me went to topshop first instead of polo. In the end,i just got myself a couple of undies. And bf got himself a super hot white shirt. And bf also got me a couple of hot 60s dresses! And a pair of hot mak datin mak datin earrings. I like and i love!
And my thanks to my super nice bosses who treated me to seafood twice in 2 weeks. Once was somewhere around Changi. And the other was at Masai. Which made me mad. Bkoz traffic jam was a killer that night. Nasib baik boss aku former F1 driver. Asal boleh selit ajer. And then met the bf for coffee at some coffee shop in singapore. and then we chilled at yishun dam till 5am kan dear? (roll eyes)
And i suka his friends. Sungguh chill. Sungguh tidak pretentious. Sungguh gerek. Sungguh down to earth. Sungguh independent. Eh. Saya pernah cakap kan saya tak suka orang pretentious? Tak eh? Ke lupa? Ok anyways, saya akan nyatakan sekali lagi. AKU TAK SUKA ORANG ANGKAT BUAH! AKU TAK SUKA ORANG PEMALAS! AKU TAK SUKA ORANG ACT CUTE AND GETS AWAY WITH EVERYTHING! AKU TAK SUKA ORANG YANG BUKAN MACAM ORANG LAH BERUK! AKU TAK SUKA ORANG YANG TAK ADA PENDIRIAN! AKU TAK SUKA ORANG YANG STEP TAHU MENGETAHUI! SEMUA NAK DITUNJUK AJAR. SEMUA NAK DITEGUR. HEYYY! KAU DAH BESAR OK? SO IT IS TIME FOR U TO FUCKING GROW UP ALREADY! BITCHHHH!
anjing.
buat dosa ajer bulan posa ni.
and saya dah start buat kuih tau! so far stakat choc cornflakes and tepung kacang ajer....masih banyak lagi nih nak buat. sapa nak tolong, email saya ok?
ok ok.
i shall stop here. i want to concentrate my msn with the bf. bkoz u have to. bkoz u have to treasure every moment and every seconds of it. bkoz u cannot take the little things for granted.
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11:39 PM