i feel so...random tonight. you know what. swimming complex should be open 24hrs around the tick tock clock. to cater people like me. i feel like having a dip now. i feel like drowning myself to this random feeling i'm having. ouh yeah. maybe i shall have a ciggie or two along my corridor after this. or start my revision since my last two papers are like next month. or perhaps complete my project. or read my archies collection. or bake a midnight cake. or better, bake a cheesecake!!! yayy! or just be lazy and watch tv. or jog. or do my overdue pump ups and sit ups.
2 - 4 yrs ago...hmm...what was i doing on a friday night 15minutes to midnight? make up make up. vogue vogue. hair waxed. eh shit. 4 yrs ago i couldn't care less how i look like in clubs. after skool. with my torn n tattered jeans matched with whatever tops with my infamous pink reef sandals. with just loose powder, lip gloss and blusher. no need for manicures. no need all those gooey wax thingy on my hair. i just party. let my hair down. i miss drum n bass days at phuture. that is the session where you can jump and hop and act stoopid and fly your hair to everyone's faces and elbow your way through. i miss those days when nani is always my mak andam when it comes to eye make up. eh, her eye liner maut ok! and then i would always curi2 her mascara trying to make myself look prettier. and then those raffles place young skaterboys whom i kinda grew fond of during my 3 months semangat for california fitness gym asked me woi nak pi mana? n then dengan proudly, aku cakap nak pi clubbing ah! hahahahaha! zaman rootz lah dulu kan. those days when i changed my middle finger platinum ring to my wedding finger and show it off to anjings who wanna get to me. n i love to see their humiliation. and i miss those days when dian n i got 5 numbers from different cliques of guys. that was sooooo 7? 8 years ago? waaaahahaha. and they were indeed cute ok! during that era lar of course.
you know how songs bring back memories to you? and then you seem to be floating together with the fluctuating notes.
and my first ever job was being a part time waitress at the age of 15. at astro hotel summore! bulan posa ajer, lepas kerja, aku dgn dian pi makan burger ramly. stress ok! nak rokok, curi2 dari chef or manager kita. encik ahmad encik ahmad. gitu2 pun, encik ahmad lah yang beri saya punya first accounting job. alaaa...tu pun tgh tunggu o'level results. jadi lah. heeeeeeeee...
you know how different scents rush you into the different moments and places you've been to?
i miss the smell of my plants when it rains while i was still staying in haig road. and then i would light up a ciggie or two (parents home or not i didn't give a hoot) and inhale and enjoy the moment. that is my simplest definition of living. queen size bed to call your own, a shelter obviously, a pack of marlboro menthol, a somewhat dysfunctional family and my cats. i miss walking naked and modelling to myself nude. i miss getting shocks from my cats because they sometimes landed on my head or if i'm lucky enuff, on my face after they have their nap from my room window.
like i said earlier. i feel very random. or maybe i should just hail a cab down to haig road now for a one last good cry. bkoz i'm still a haig rd girl after all. and i miss everything about dat block 21. call it a ghetto. call it a place where the budak busuk and budak kallang used to gather at. it will still be my playground. it is forever my hometown. and speaking of which, i wonder how my gangster friends are doing right now. i wonder if they miss me? and kak mimi. my guru ngaji. how is she doing now i wonder? and chut-teh. i miss carrying you home with me and then feed you with cats' junk foods. and i miss those apek2 chess void deck. they would stay up till the wee-est hours being not productive at all playing chess. but they are cool.
i really need to give a one last good cry at haig road.
but now, my lifetime just called me. alhamdullilah he's back home safely. and i miss him super much. and despite me missing haig road, i'm still thankful that i moved to tampines. like i said, every journey and everything counts. otherwise, i wouldn't have met him. i've never been so thankful in my life.
My heart's been mended who'd have thought it would An empty bet and still I won the cash A man who I love and who Loves me back - Chocolate by Kylie M.
